11 Things To Do When You’re Sick Of Feeling Heartbroken

By: Tory  |  Published: July 1st, 2011   |  Category: Buddhism, Reality Television, Relationships

1) Get deep into a dramatic TV series on DVD. I’m talking The Wire, Dexter, Homicide etc. You need to have intense characters to bond with and twisting plots to gasp at. Pick something with three seasons or longer depending on how lonely you are.

2) Crosswords. They are time consuming and you look smart doing them at Starbucks. Extra points if you subscribe to a newspaper to get your crosswords since this gives you a little something to look forward to every morning.

3) Knitting. I know. Nerd Alert. But the skill is very easy to pick up and it is very meditative. The accomplishment of creating something, even a knotted scarf will give you a boost of self esteem and you can fantasize all you want about starting your own knitting shop on etsy.com. Another plus? You get to go shopping all the time for different yarn skeins and anything that keeps you busy and out of the house is a win.

4) Find an easy, really flavorful but healthy cooking website like skinnytaste.com and try to make one meal a day. Cooking is great for the mind to zone out and instantly you’re focusing on food not on sadness. You are measuring flour, not how far you’ve fallen.

5) Take pictures of the food you cooked and blog about it. I promise you, someone out there is hungry and bored and will enjoy your daily food updates. That person, most likely, will be me.

6) Volunteer to walk dogs at your nearest animal shelter. You get major points for this one. Not only are you helping out and contributing to society which feels like a warm bath on a snowy evening, you get to socialize with dogs, a terrific source of positive energy, AND you get to walk and count it as exercise.

7) Read. Especially gripping mystery series. I like Patricia Cornwell. Ebooks count.

8 ) Learn a new instrument. I chose the fiddle. It is very easy to Yelp music schools or music teachers. Not only are you supporting a local musician but you are engaging the right side of the brain, the creative side. Lighting up your creative part of your brain will exponentially increase your recovery time TREMENDOUSLY.


9) Plan a murder mystery party. I know this sounds like it is coming out of left field but hear me out. A) You are being socially active which is very important to your broken spirit. B) Planning even a small party takes a lot of effort which makes a fantastic distraction. But a murder party? There is a cast of characters, and a story line and you need to decorate your house and get the right food and drinks and dress up as your character etc. Endless amounts of harmless distraction.

10) Find new music. Go to Pandora and add your favorite song. Pandora will mathematically find endless songs that have the same algorithmic background as the song you originally liked. New music is good. It’s like a new pair of running shoes and it fires ammunition directly into your imagination.

11) And finally we come to 11. 11 is easy. 11 is read Pema Chodron. Especially her book “When Things Fall Apart.”

Pema is an American born Buddhist monk who uses great humor and modern day stories to help explain the ancient and helpful ways of Buddhism to the rank and file. Crazy thing is…if you read Pema, you will start to understand that in order to really get through heartbreak, you can’t just distract yourself with this list. This list WILL help. But deep down, heartbreak and loneliness can only dissipate when you FACE them, become INTIMATE with them, ASK them into your heart and, most importantly, HOLD your seat when the fiery, turbulent energy rises up and threatens to drown you whole. By holding your seat, breathing it in, and not getting carried off by the energy, you have stepped into the path of a true spiritual warrior. One bad ass mother fucking spiritual warrior.

I leave you with words from the wise Pema

“When we’re lonely in a hot way–we look for something to save us. We look for a way out. We get this queasy feeling that we call loneliness and our minds just go wild trying to come up with companions to save us from despair. It’s a way of keeping ourselves busy so we don’t have to feel any pain. it could take the form of obsessively day dreaming of true romance or turning a tid bit of gossip into the 6 o’clock news or even going off by ourselves into the wilderness. Could we just settle down and have some compassion and respect for ourselves? Could we stop trying to escape being alone with ourselves? What about practicing not jumping and grabbing when we begin to panic? Relaxing with loneliness is a worthy occupation.”