The Obviously Guilty

By: Tory  |  Published: July 5th, 2011   |  Category: Funny Stuff, Rants & Raves, Reality Television

So she’s obviously guilty right? I mean, even if I didn’t know about her incriminating google searches, which included such harmless words as ‘chloroform’ and ‘manual neck-breaking’ the woman looks guilty as sin.

Those starched, button downs she wears in different shades of Easter pastels are not helping. Her hair looks old, pulled back tight and up in the “Rachel Green clip” that was so popular in 1993. And those eyes, those two black coals always register a strange detached emotion. Could it be.? Yes. It is. It’s boredom.

I haven’t been an avid follower. I caught snippets in the news and occasionally folded my laundry with the HLN channel in the background which ran trial coverage 24/7. I never got what HLN stands for (Hugely Lame News?) but I was even more confused when I realized the two main anchors were the witchy Nancy Grace and the king of rehab himself, Dr. Drew. Why these two were chosen made no sense to me but it didn’t matter as long as the show was getting eyeballs and it was.

I mean, the case has ridiculous appeal. A sweet, cute, white baby goes missing and for 31 days the mom spends that time not grieving but partying it up at a “hot body” contest, going on wild shopping sprees getting new tattoos. Cause getting “inked” seems like a rational thing to do when your baby has gone missing right?

As for the jury, I don’t know why they didn’t just tell the judge that they didn’t need to even reconvene. She was not only guilty of murder but guilty of looking like she didn’t care if she were guilty of murder. Which is worse?

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