Top Ten Things NOT to do at an Audition

 

 

 

1)  First off, DO NOT BE A BITCH in the audition room. I cannot be more clear about this. There is nothing worse than an audition waiting room in terms of silent vibes so MAKE SURE YOURS ARE NICE AND GENEROUS. Everybody in that room is fighting an uphill battle-so lend a hand and let them know if there is a surprise twist in the audition. Be a pal–don’t be a BITCH. My new bumper sticker.

2)  Don’t wear a ton of perfume. Everyone hates that ESPECIALLY casting directors.

3)  Don’t seem desperate. Like, you know how you were with that senior guy in high school you were dating as a freshman? Yeah, don’t be like that. The CD is tired and hungry and a lot of pleading and thank you’s is really annoying. Plus if you are quick and pleasant and professional-you look like you’ve done tons of these auditions before which is always a big plus!

4)  Don’t park at a metered spot if you can help it. You will inevitably get a ticket or have to feed it or move it in wearing your heels which sucks ass.

5)  Don’t make lunch plans afterwards. You will be there longer than you think.

6)  When you enter the audition room, make sure to look everyone in the eye and say hi. EVEN the reader or the quiet hipster sitting in the back of the room who looks bored and is playing a game on his Android. THIS IS PROBABLY THE DIRECTOR!! I also happen to say something stupid like: “And here is my headshot, where I look incredibly hungry…”

7)  Make sure you stay in frame. Your shot is not usually a huge one so make sure whatever movements you are doing, whether it be for laughs or tears, keep them small and keep them high so you are always in frame.

8)  Come in with energy. This one I am particular about. Don’t come in with “Ive just been on meth” energy but you have to at least tickle the CDs enough to start to paying attention to you. It’s been a long day for them and their dog probably puked this morning and they are wondering if their beloved Bailey the Golden Retriever ate chocolate…so you HAVE to grab their attention. If you are a firecracker–great! Keep it up. But if you are sometimes low energy, inject some red bull into your veins.

9)  Get dressed to the 9’s. 10’s are even better. My manager has the a saying: “Always Bring It Always.” Hair should be done nicely, make up should be done nicely. You need to look your best EVERY time because Sasha, Andrea and Jennifer over there are putting in the time and energy and so should you.

10) Come PREPARED. Beyond prepared. Now this doesn’t mean I agree with over rehearsing a scene to death. I see some chicks reading over the sides like 12,000 times and at 11,375–you are going to just burn out the scene. But make sure you know your lines. AND make sure you know the stage directions EVEN IF THEY ARE IN A PARENTHESES. If it says “(Eloise then laughs a fake French laugh) I am going to milk that direction for all that it is worth. Don’t be dumbfounded and surprised at your stage directions and your cues cause you will look stupid and sad and I will float into your mind and say “I told you so.”

No I wouldn’t! I’m rooting for you all!

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