t’s Top 10 Virtues of Being Patient to Make Herself Feel Better While She Waits to be Discovered

By: Tory  |  Published: September 13th, 2011   |  Category: Funny Stuff, jobs, Tory Shulman News, unemployment

So as all of you know I took the crack pipe road less traveled by and decided to become an actress with hopes of fame and fortune one day. So far I have been extremely lucky but I have yet to hit the Jackpot so to speak. Thus I am constantly at war. Not with my agent or manager. No. One with patience. I am forced to be patient. I have no choice but to be patient. And I shall openly confess here and now that Victoria Rachel Shulman has never been very good at being patient.

Tory’s Top 10 Virtues of Patience to Make Herself Feel Better While She Waits to Be Discovered

1) Patience can lower your blood pressure

2) Patience gives you time to learn crafts like drawing and knitting

3) Patience makes perfect. Fuck, wait no, that’s Practice makes Perfect.

4) Patience allows you to refrain from murderous road rage

5) Patience allows you to notice small details (like all the faults of your apartment)

6) Patience in front of other people makes you instantly a “non-asshole”

7) Patience allows time for baking souffles

8) Patience sounds like Haitians and you should remember to donate money to Haiti because those people are still living in rubble

9) Patience allows you to teach special tricks to your dog like finding your cell phone when it’s lost based on scent discrimination

10) Patience gives you the precious time to journal…about being patient



Tags: , , ,