Tory’s Top Three Cinematic Real Estate Fantasies

By: Tory  |  Published: July 12th, 2011   |  Category: Film, Rants & Raves, Tory Shulman News

I love my teeny tiny apartment. It has AC and a washer dryer and we all know those two things equal heaven on earth. However, I have to admit, I have had bouts of cabin fever. When the overwhelming urge to spread out overtakes me, I take a scenic driving tour of the mansions and mini castles of Beverly Hills, 90210. What would it feel like to put my car in park in this sprawling driveway and walk up the double-winding staircase to my chandeliered bedroom? How would it feel to be in charge of actual yard landscaping and not just three tulip bulbs and a mini indoor lemon tree? And maybe it was the “HOLLYWOOD” sign glimmering in my rear view mirror but I started to think bigger. Screw Beverly Hills! What would it be like to live like they do in the movies…

Tory’s Top Three Cinematic Real Estate Fantasies

1) “The Thomas Crown Affair” Island Bungalow

So in case you were wondering I am talking about the 1999 version of the movie where Rene Russo shows her boobs. Man, what a great movie. Director John McTiernan (of Die Hard fame) did one helluva job with this deliciously smooth suspense story. About halfway through, Pierce Brosnan, under investigation for stealing a Monet, whisks his buxom investigator Russo off to his island getaway. As their private jet prepares to land we here Russo remark: “That island is not Manhattan.” No Rene. It is not. It is Martinique and it is gorgeous.
Through winding roads of bougainvilleas and glimpses of a liquid blue ocean, the two eventually reach their destination at the top of the highest mountain in sight. There sits the island bungalow of my dreams. A cozy beautifully decorated nest, hidden away in the lush jungle with a 360 degree view of the Ocean. Now maybe it’s the succulent fresh crab they eat at the outdoor fire pit or perhaps it just a topless Pierce Brosnan but my mouth waters every time I even think about this cinematic plot of land.

2) The “Clue” Mansion

Was it Professor Plum in the Conservatory with a revolver? Or was it Mr Green in the Billiards room with a rope? I just wish it were Ms. Shulman with a deed to this spoooooky property. Yes, the mansion has a certain “gory” past but would you look at the entertaining space? And plus, I imagine the hidden passageways would be somewhat amusing to try out after a bottle of wine. Simply everyone would want to be invited to your dinner parties and the line of trick-or-treaters at your door on Halloween would be miles long. But you know, I think the most compelling selling point of the mansion is that fact that it comes with a live-in maid, chef and butler! Although….no has heard from them in awhile.

3) The “Dances with Wolves” Tepee

I have to be honest here. I have a thing for tepees. I think it stems from my second grade class where we learned all about the American Indian. I have such euphoric memories from this “artsy” hands-on class. We made vats of traditional Navajo dye by boiling the chestnuts that we gathered from the woods behind our school in a cauldron of steaming water. We made huge, beautiful sand paintings made from cardboard and Elmer’s glue and we spent months knotting long, colorful woven belts made from yarn tied to the legs our desk chairs. The boys didn’t care what you looked like and as a nine year old girl with an asymmetrical bowl cut and sports goggles–I tell ya, I peaked in second grade, So you can understand my love of the panning interior shots of these tepees. We see large swaths of thick black animal fur hang over a warm ember fire as feathered Sioux men sit smoking in a circle holding philosophical discussions in hushed ancient tones. You can almost hear the ‘tatanka’ roaming the distant hills. Although the tepee is not particularly a large property and the shape is acutely triangular, the familial warmth and nostalgic atmosphere that billows out from these shelters are undeniably worth the awkward wall space.