Let’s be honest. These days you can go for months without having to speak to another human being. Technology has helped make things faster and easier however, it has completely depleted our social intelligence. I can no longer hold conversations more than three minutes long. I get bored in commercials and have to change the channel. I want to skip to the next song when I am listening to the radio. So I know how flipping awkward it is to go on a first date these days when all you really want to be doing is Facebook stalking or scrolling on Tumblr. What do you say to the person? What if they don’t laugh or respond in the correct way?
Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore the crap out of you teaching you how to hold constructive social chit chat over your first date. Hell no. I’m here to encourage and advise you in the ways of The First Date Movie Rentals. Ya see, if you watch a movie at home with someone there is still intimacy depending on your couch/sectional/sofa. The lights are low which is not only romantic but advantageous in hiding blemishes and you look like a Top Chef by microwaving some Kettlecorn. But the best part is that no one actually has to interact.
Top 3 Movies to Have in Your First Date Arsenal.
#1. The Big Lebowski
Opening a relationship with The Dude is a brilliant move. BRILLIANT. Brilliant because you have just delivered your first major test of the relationship without having to say ANYTHING. If your date hasn’t seen it and/or is not interested in seeing it…I would seriously just walk away. Save yourself a lot of time and tears and kindly ask them to leave immediately. Apologize politely and simply state “I have a strong instinct that this relationship is going nowhere.” Then go roll a joint and enjoy one of the greatest movies of all time solo. If they have seen it—FANTASTIC. Congratulations! You know instantly your date has good taste and a good sense of humor. Enjoy the movie and end the night either whispering over candlelight or screaming over Tequila shots your favorite, most unforgettable Lebowski quotes. Then simply cuddle up together on your rug that really ties the room together.
#2. The Usual Suspects
I was very hesitant to give this one out since it is my best-kept movie secret but you can’t be a blogger AND keep secrets so here goes. The Usual Suspects will 100% guarantee a colorful and charming first date. But you have to follow my instructions. Make sure you have bold red wine available and open when this movie starts. At 1 hour and 36 minutes into the film, just as you see Kevin Spacey limp his way out of the police station, refill your date’s glass. Soon the music will gently crescendo and, as it does, subtly raise the volume by three or four bars. As the final voice over begins, scoot close enough to your date so that you can feel their goosebumps enlarge and their breathing shallow as the film rises to one of my favorite cinematic endings of all time. Then, as the credits roll, turn to face your date.
Trust me, with the incredible, palpable suspense hanging in the air, combined with the slight rise in alcohol consumption, your date will turn to you with the most awed, exhilarated, thrilling look in her/his eyes. I’ve set the mood…the rest is up to you Kaiser Sose.
#3. Back to the Future
This movie seriously deserves to be on the list simply for the treasure trove of pop culture references you can laugh about with your date if you discover you have nothing else in common. The Clock Tower, Johnny B Goode, Biff, The Flux Capacitor…I mean the list just does not end. Also the relationship between Marty and Lorraine is timeless. A damsel in distress no matter what time period is always a heart melter and there is no better wing-man other than a young Michael J Fox. His charming clumsiness and committed concern for mom and dad adds a warm, honest and nostalgic vibe to the room which can only help make conversations, (amongst other things), run more smoothly.
Now, if any of these three films fail to get you over the awkward humps of your first date…use the three DVD discs as ninja stars to render your date immobile.