Let’s be honest. These days you can go for months without having to speak to another human being. Technology has helped make things faster and easier however, it has completely depleted our social intelligence. I can no longer hold conversations more than three minutes long. I get bored in commercials and have to change the channel. I want to skip to the next song when I am listening to the radio. So I know how flipping awkward it is to go on a first date these days when all you really want to be doing is Facebook stalking or scrolling on Tumblr. What do you say to the person? What if they don’t laugh or respond in the correct way?
Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore the crap out of you teaching you how to hold constructive social chit chat over your first date. Hell no. I’m here to encourage and advise you in the ways of The First Date Movie Rentals. Ya see, if you watch a movie at home with someone there is still intimacy depending on your couch/sectional/sofa. The lights are low which is not only romantic but advantageous in hiding blemishes and you look like a Top Chef by microwaving some Kettlecorn. But the best part is that no one actually has to interact.
Top 3 Movies to Have in Your First Date Arsenal.
#1. The Big Lebowski
Opening a relationship with The Dude is a brilliant move. BRILLIANT. Brilliant because you have just delivered your first major test of the relationship without having to say ANYTHING. If your date hasn’t seen it and/or is not interested in seeing it…I would seriously just walk away. Save yourself a lot of time and tears and kindly ask them to leave immediately. Apologize politely and simply state “I have a strong instinct that this relationship is going nowhere.” Then go roll a joint and enjoy one of the greatest movies of all time solo. If they have seen it—FANTASTIC. Congratulations! You know instantly your date has good taste and a good sense of humor. Enjoy the movie and end the night either whispering over candlelight or screaming over Tequila shots your favorite, most unforgettable Lebowski quotes. Then simply cuddle up together on your rug that really ties the room together.
#2. The Usual Suspects
I was very hesitant to give this one out since it is my best-kept movie secret but you can’t be a blogger AND keep secrets so here goes. The Usual Suspects will 100% guarantee a colorful and charming first date. But you have to follow my instructions. Make sure you have bold red wine available and open when this movie starts. At 1 hour and 36 minutes into the film, just as you see Kevin Spacey limp his way out of the police station, refill your date’s glass. Soon the music will gently crescendo and, as it does, subtly raise the volume by three or four bars. As the final voice over begins, scoot close enough to your date so that you can feel their goosebumps enlarge and their breathing shallow as the film rises to one of my favorite cinematic endings of all time. Then, as the credits roll, turn to face your date.
Trust me, with the incredible, palpable suspense hanging in the air, combined with the slight rise in alcohol consumption, your date will turn to you with the most awed, exhilarated, thrilling look in her/his eyes. I’ve set the mood…the rest is up to you Kaiser Sose.
#3. Back to the Future
This movie seriously deserves to be on the list simply for the treasure trove of pop culture references you can laugh about with your date if you discover you have nothing else in common. The Clock Tower, Johnny B Goode, Biff, The Flux Capacitor…I mean the list just does not end. Also the relationship between Marty and Lorraine is timeless. A damsel in distress no matter what time period is always a heart melter and there is no better wing-man other than a young Michael J Fox. His charming clumsiness and committed concern for mom and dad adds a warm, honest and nostalgic vibe to the room which can only help make conversations, (amongst other things), run more smoothly.
Now, if any of these three films fail to get you over the awkward humps of your first date…use the three DVD discs as ninja stars to render your date immobile.
The Big Lebowski was featured prominently in my JDate profile. I agree it is the ultimate character test (and just happens to be my favorite movie of all time). Also I remember when you introduced me to the Usual Suspects—I realize the result wasn’t an earth shattering romance but I still think of you every time someone mentions the movie. 🙂
Haha I love that you think of me every time you see that movie. So sweet. As for The Big Lebowski in your jdate profile–I highly approve and if I were a lesbian or a man you would have been my first pick. I love you sweet girl.
I’ve never thought of The Big Lebowski as a date movie before. Don’t get me wrong it’s in my all time top 5, but I’m not sure if it’s a first date movie. I would think that opening up the relationship with The Dude might be a little like giving too much information on the first date.
One of my wife and I’s mutual top 5 movies is The 13th Warrior starring Antionio Banderas. It’s not good but it’s one that you can give the old Mystery Science Theater treatment to. It can really give you a good feel for your dates comic sensiblity. It was watched on one of our first dates and a good time was had by all.
I’ll wrap it up by saying that you’re awesome and I love the blog.
I know what you mean by Lewbowski being too big of an opener but time is a ticking for many ladies I know and they want to skip the bullshit and find out if their date has what it takes and I think Donny and Walter and The Dude are great bullshit detectors haha. 13th Warrior is a GREAT bad movie and it’s mindless enough to definitely make snarky comments. Actually any Banderes movie is a good date movie. He is silly and sexy and latin. LIke a tequila shot. Much love to you for even reading my blog. I appreciate it so much. Please keep writing. Love, T
Hi Tory,
Hello darling! How are you? I just finished my first movie! I will try and send it to you. Love Ya!
Rachel K